Saboteurs are negative mental patterns that hold you back, affecting your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. The Stickler Saboteur stands out for its insistence on perfectionism, rigidity, and fear of making mistakes. Here’s what you need to know about the Stickler Saboteur and some effective strategies for minimizing its negative influence.

What Are Saboteurs?

Saboteurs are deeply ingrained patterns of thinking and behavior that limit your potential and hinder your ability to perform at your best. They are internal critics that operate based on fear, self-doubt, and negative self-talk. Saboteur patterns can take various forms, such as the Avoider, the Hyper-Vigilant, the Victim, and more. Each Saboteur has a unique way of sabotaging your wellbeing and success.

Meet the Stickler

The Stickler Saboteur thrives on an extreme need for perfection, order, and organization, often taking these tendencies to unhealthy levels. While punctual and organized, the Stickler can be irritable, tense, opinionated, and sarcastic.

Driven by a belief that others are sloppy or lazy, the Stickler is willing to work overtime to ensure things are done “right.” However, this comes with a cost — being highly critical of both self and others, with a strong need for self-control and restraint.

How to Recognize the Stickler

Here’s what to look out for as the Stickler tries to impose its lies and limiting beliefs on you.

The Original Survival Function of the Stickler

The Stickler attempts to quiet the constant voice of self-judgment and the fear of others’ judgment by striving for perfection. It pushes the belief that, by doing everything right, you can avoid interference and criticism from others.

Perfection and order offer a brief sense of relief, especially when they once helped create order in a chaotic family dynamic. Standing out as the irreproachable, perfect child may have earned acceptance and attention from emotionally distant or demanding parents.

Characteristics of the Stickler

The Stickler causes rigidity and reduces flexibility in dealing with change and other people’s styles. It is also a source of ongoing anxiety and frustration that causes resentment, anxiety, self-doubt, and resignation in others, who feel continually criticized and resign themselves that no matter how hard they work, they will never please the Stickler.

Thoughts Caused by the Stickler

• Right is right, and wrong is wrong. 
• I know the right way. 
• If you can’t do it perfectly, don’t do it at all. 
• Others too often have lax standards. 
• I need to be more organized and methodical than others so things get done. 
• I hate mistakes.

Feelings Caused by the Stickler

• Constant frustration and disappointment with self and others for not living up to ideal standards
• Anxiety around others messing up the order and balance I have created
• Self-righteousness with sarcastic overtones
• Suppressed anger and frustration

Lies the Stickler Tells

• This is a personal obligation. 
• It is up to me to fix whatever mess I encounter. 
• Perfectionism is good, plus it makes me feel better about myself. 
• There is usually a clear right and clear wrong way to do things. 
• I know how things should be done and must do the right thing.

How to Overcome the Influence of the Stickler

Command Your Mind to Quiet the Stickler

1. The first thing to remember is that if you’re in negative emotion for more than a second, you’re in Saboteur mode. You must label your thoughts and emotions at that moment as Saboteur and let them go. To be able to do that, you need to have studied your Saboteurs (including the Stickler) and discredited their lies and limiting beliefs. Take the Saboteur Assessment to get started.

2. The next step is to perform a PQ Rep, which is a 10-second hyper-focus on one of your senses. PQ Reps are powerful ways to command your mind to quiet the region where your Saboteurs live and activate the region where your Sage (positive self) lives. Whenever you catch the Stickler or your other Saboteurs, do PQ Reps to pause and choose a more positive response. Visit the PQ Gym to try some guided PQ Reps.

Minimize the Influence of the Stickler

In addition to catching the Stickler and performing PQ Reps, try these practices to minimize this Saboteur’s negative influence on your life:

1. Practice Self-Compassion: Cultivate self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance, especially during setbacks or challenges. Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge your efforts.

2. Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate small victories, progress, and accomplishments along the way. Recognize the effort and growth involved in overcoming challenges.

3. Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive individuals who encourage growth, creativity, and resilience. Seek mentorship, coaching, counseling, or peer support to navigate challenges effectively.

4. Learn from Mistakes: Shift your perspective on mistakes as valuable learning opportunities. Extract lessons, insights, and growth from setbacks and apply them to future endeavors.

Embracing Freedom & Growth

While the Stickler Saboteur may impose rigid standards and fear of failure, you can loosen its grip through intentional practices that promote flexibility, self-compassion, and a growth mindset. As you build mental fitness and tame the Stickler Saboteur, you’ll create a more fulfilling, resilient, and growth-oriented life.

Explore how the PQ Program for mental fitness can help you and your team intercept your Saboteurs to improve performance, team dynamics, and wellbeing.

Discover Your Saboteurs

The first step to conquering your Saboteurs is to identify them and expose their lies and limiting beliefs.

Take the Assessment

Overcome Your Saboteurs

Intercepting your Saboteurs is crucial for success, and it starts with understanding how they affect you.

Read the Blog Post